Authentic Voice Leads to Learning

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​I’m currently in the middle of doing something new. Doing things you’ve never done before gets more important as you age. According to John Hopkins Medicine’s Science of Memory website, “when we learn something new - even as simple as someone’s name - we form connections between neurons in the brain. These synapses create new circuits between nerve cells, essentially remapping the brain.”

That’s why it’s so important to be a lifelong learner.

The new thing I’m doing is taking part in a writer’s conference, and it’s been amazing so far! I’m learning about things I had no idea existed, I’m meeting new people, and even learning new writing techniques.

When I was young, I dreamt of publishing books I’d written. I knew it would be a tough road, because you had to find an agent who would represent you, find an editor who would critique your work and improve it, and finally, you needed to write a letter appealing enough that a publisher would take a chance on you and publish your work.

One of the things I’m learning is that there are now easier ways to get your work published and out into the world. Thank goodness!

Although there are still writers who use an agent, an editor, and a publisher, there are also now an entire new crop of indie (independent) authors who don’t need an agent because they’re self-publishing their work.

One good use for AI

With the advancement of AI, indie authors don’t actually HAVE to have an editor either. There are AI platforms that will critique your work within minutes of uploading it to a website, and for a fraction of the cost - another worry I had when first thinking about becoming an author.

Why am I mentioning all of this to you, who may not even be interested in writing a book? Simply to illustrate the fact that when you want to be something, like an author or a chef or an interior designer, the means to do it will find you once you begin to believe that it’s a possibility.

Admit it, there’s a thought in your head that continues to resurface every now and then. It starts something like this: If only I had, I wish I would’ve, I wonder what would've happened if I had…

It’s never too late to be what you might have been. As long as you’re alive, you still have an opportunity to pay attention to the authentic voice in your head. Just considering possibilities can open up an entire new world.

And opening a new world can lead, much like if you give a Mouse a Cookie, to brand new synapses and connections in your brain, keeping you youthful for a long time to come.

Simply Amazing

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Does your home reflect who you are? Or is it just a dumping ground between appointments, events, and work days?

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I’m a super fan of the book called Simple Abundance. In it, the author, Sarah Ban Breathnach, talks about several ‘Graces’ or steps toward authenticity. Simplicity is the grace she talks about during the month of May.

While I’ve read her book several times, mostly I’ve just read it and not followed in her actual steps. But recently, I decided to try what she’s suggesting and I have been blown away by the results!

The current focus in her book is on the home. I, too, have been thinking about what could make my space more functional while also more reflective of who I am. I want to walk in the front door and feel my house put its arms around me, welcoming me in like a warm blanket on a chilly day.

​Always wanted to do this…

When I read about the author’s daughter showing up and using the Marie Kondo method on her bedroom closet, which I’ve secretly wanted to do for a long time, I knew it was my chance to try it.

In the book, much to the author’s horror, the daughter drags every single piece of clothing out onto her mother’s bed and they go through all the individual pieces, saying thank you to each item, and then adding it to one of three piles: keep, toss, or make a decision.

The idea is that some of the stuff we keep hanging on to is holding us back from growing into the person we are currently becoming. We have to clear out what no longer serves us to be able to move forward.

Being a bit on the cautious side, I didn’t bring everything out of my closet. I worried that I would get started, freak out, and leave the whole mess for another day. Instead, I started at one end of my closet and worked my way through every piece of clothing in there. I tried some things on and was strict in my thinking that if I hadn’t worn the item in the past year (or more!), I never would and it needed to go.  

I can’t find the words to explain the feeling I had afterwards, and still do, every time I walk into my closet. There’s a feeling of lightness and happiness. I know that I will, and do, wear every single item in there. The organization of my closet brings a ridiculous smile to my face just thinking about it.

I know, it’s weird, but it’s true.

Marie Kondo has this to say about the process. “By handling each sentimental item and deciding what to discard, you process your past. If you just stow these things away in a drawer or cardboard box, before you realize it, your past will become a weight that holds you back and keeps you from living in the here and now. To put your things in order means to put your past in order, too. It’s like resetting your life and settling your accounts so that you can take the next step forward.”

I enjoyed this so much that I’m looking for other areas in our house that need to be simplified.

I don’t feel like I need to replace the clothing I’ve gotten rid of, either. It feels amazing to know that I love everything I’ve kept and I’m not going to settle for something that might not feel completely like me, in the future.  

I also love that Marie says this, “The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.”

Nothing to Fear

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A friend of mine sent me a video this morning. It was a man named Neale Donald Walsch, and he was talking about fear.

Walsch says, “Fear is the thought that we’re not going to be able to have something we think we need. A person who doesn’t need anything doesn’t fear anything.”

I can relate. When I forget to be grateful, fear creeps in. What if I won’t have enough money for xyz? What if I can’t get xyz done? What if that person decides they don’t need me in their life?

After worrying for a while (which is absolutely useless, by the way), I always seem to circle back around to a thought I’ve heard from several different people: I have everything I need. Sure, there are things I’d like to have, but deep down, I know I truly do have everything I need.  

Walsch asks the question - how do we get to fearlessness? He says we have to look at what it is we need right then. We should then consider what if we really don’t need it? Or what if you’re afraid you’ll lose something you already have?

He said that often the fear of losing something is in terms of people. What if that person stops liking me? For me, the answer to that is how badly do I actually need that person to like me anyway? If a person is causing me to worry or be upset about pleasing them, it’s time to let them go.

Relationships with people should be a two-way street. One person should not always be doing all the giving or all the taking. I think when we begin to fear losing someone, it’s because we start recognizing that the relationship isn’t equal.

Walsch goes on to say that people who present themselves to the world as serene, joyful, strong, peaceful, and innately happy are aware that their happiness comes from within. We say they have it all together. That’s the path to transformation, or in my mind, the path to your authentic self.

He also asked what if we thought of fear as this acronym: feeling excited and ready? I can think of it as I fear not finishing my book, but when I switch that to feeling excited about it, I’m ready to take the next step, which might be sharing my manuscript with my editor.

He sums up his video in these three points:

1. Your fear is not real; you’re making it all up.

2. If what you fear actually did happen, you would still be here tomorrow. (Unless you’re not, and then it absolutely would make no difference at all.)

3. If you can call your fears adventure, you’ll bring in the energy that will heal the fear and bring in excitement.

The video gave me a lot to think about. I’d take it one step further and ask if you have any control over the thing you fear. In my case, if it’s a question of whether or not I’ll have enough money for whatever I’m hoping to do, I’d better get busy and make the money I need.

If I’m worried about getting something done, again, I’d better figure out a schedule so that I absolutely will get that project or errand done or book written. So again, I have control over the situation.

But in the case of worrying about a person not wanting me to be in their life? I don’t have any control over that. It’s useless to worry or even think about because if that’s something they’re considering, then I already know I’ll be better off without them anyway.

I guess fear isn’t so scary after all.  

Hide the chocolate!

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The other day, I was eating a piece of chocolate I'd been given, and I found this written inside the wrapper - You’re eating this while hiding from your kids, aren’t you? I snapped a photo of it and sent it to my kids with the word ‘Probably’ written on it.  

It reminded me of a trip my family took to my parents' lake cabin. Without telling anyone, I had hidden some chocolate behind a framed photograph on a shelf. My husband found it and promptly told the rest of the family what I'd done.

May is the greatest and the busiest month. In just this month, we have: two weddings, seven birthdays within our family, including one of our dogs, Mother's Day, a college graduation, and a handful of high school graduations.

This week alone is packed full with a preschool field day, wedding decorating, preschool graduation, rehearsal dinner, and a wedding.

During such a busy time, it's more important than ever to take care of yourself in at least one way, if not several different ways. You might want to read that again.

Major confession loading…

I'm about to admit something my whole family knows, but I have never actually said out loud. I hide chocolate from my loved ones. Not all chocolate, because obviously, if I've gotten the chocolate as a gift, they've already seen it. That stays out in plain sight and every now and then I'll share a piece of it. But it's a rare day when I don't have a chocolate stash somewhere in my house.

The chocolate is something I do for myself. And during this busiest of all months, I have to be sure I'm making time for comforting myself, as well as those around me.

I've watched others who give and give and give to the people around them, which is awesome, but it's sort of like when you're on an airplane and you hear the speech about in the event that the cabin loses air pressure, you need to attach your own oxygen mask first before helping others. If you don't take care of yourself, you have nothing to give to those you love.

It's only Wednesday and so far this week, I've been able to practice yoga three times. That's amazing and rare. But especially during a week where one of our children is getting married, it’s important for me to fit in a little self-care so that I can be there for those who might need me.

Fittingly enough, yesterday’s yoga practice started with the instructions to wrap yourself in a hug. I was to “sit in my own embrace.” It was nice. And needed. And I'm not about to admit the amount of chocolate I've consumed already this week.

I love that in the past four days, we've had three drop-ins from different kids. These visits I also count as self-care.

All this is just to encourage you to find something - anything - that helps ground you during stressful times. Looking at crazy times as a challenge, as in, you just watch me get through these next two weeks, rather than as an impossible task, helps.

And at the very least, you should really be hiding some chocolate.

Like the Sands of Time

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A quote by Rumer Godden I read in Simple Abundance the other day said, “There is an Indian proverb that says every person is a house with four rooms: a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual one. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.”

That hit me. I don’t think I’m alone in saying there are not enough hours in the day for me to do everything I want. Just as the quote says, I want to work out, find time to read, have time to write, and time to meditate. Those are my four rooms, but I often find myself focusing on only one at a time.

Actually…

I’d also like to take a nap, but I rarely let myself do that.

At the end of each day, I look back to see what was good, bad, made me happy, made me feel accomplished, was irritating, or even something I wish I had handled differently. Those end-of-the-day feelings tend to carry over into the next and as much as I’d like to start fresh, sometimes it’s impossible.

But I’ve noticed that when I accomplish what I’ve set out to do, my next day begins on a much better note.

What’s the secret? How do we get to where we’re able to go into each room every day? Young parents certainly don’t have the time to do what they want because they’re taking care of kids, older parents are usually chasing kids with activities, and here we are, with very few excuses, kids out of the house, yet still unable to find the time to do all we’d like because there are meals to prepare, rooms that need vacuuming, clothes that need washed, and meetings to attend.

I think one of the secrets is a gratitude practice. As our day is rushing around us, tornado-style, we can stop in the middle of it all and simply be grateful for what is happening. How cool that we have co-workers we enjoy or kids who appreciate that we’re at their events, or a spouse who works out with us, thereby keeping us from sinking into the couch. Maybe we’re able to grab ten whole minutes before bed each night to read and three minutes to offer a prayer of thanks for all the good that surrounds us.

Gratitude is the secret sauce that keeps me putting one foot in front of another, even when the list of tasks seems endless. How hard is it to come up with three things every day? Not that hard. Now that we’ve entered the month of 50,000 events, it’s important to remember how sad we’d be if we didn’t have all these events to go to, and secondly, we've got this!

You Do You

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I saw a post on Facebook today, and it lodged itself into a nook in my brain. It was something about not being sorry about what type of person they are. It got me thinking about so many things.

I’ve been upfront about the fact that I’m writing a book, but I haven’t talked about some of the behind-the-scenes stuff that I think about as I’m doing it.

For instance, there’s cussing in my book. Does there have to be? No, there doesn’t, but I think it fits the character and the situation and to be totally honest, I cuss as well, so it’s going to stay.

There are also adult scenes and situations. There have been at least a couple scenes where I’ve been crying as I’ve written them. But again, I don’t want to cut them because it helps the reader understand more about a character’s motivation.

I’m just a touch over halfway done writing it, and so far there haven’t been any juicy love scenes, but I’m not ruling that out. I think it makes a lot of sense later, when I get further along in the story. Plus, once my editor has her day with it, so many things could change.

I know that not all my friends and acquaintances will be okay with this. I understand, and I realize that not everyone I know will want to read my book. That’s okay. I’m pretty sure this is the way we become aware of who our people are.

I’ve heard the saying that if you’re writing for everyone, you’re writing for no one, so I’m going to stand my ground on this.

The whole idea of the book isn’t something that I question. A friend of mine pointed me toward a news article about a real life situation that happened in Sheridan County, Nebraska, decades ago, and my mind simply would not let it go.  

There are certain things that come to us each day that I’ve learned not to question. Something inside of me knows which to choose and I’ve become pretty decent at listening to that authentic voice. It hasn’t steered me wrong yet.

​Proving my point

Recently, in the book Simple Abundance, there was a passage that said an intuitive nudge can be “the inner knowing that helps us arrive at the right place at the right time so that we can be swept away by the benevolent flow of synchronicity that gets us where we’re meant to be as easily as the Universe can arrange it.”

Wow. That’s exactly why I had to write this book. I hope there will be other instances so this isn’t the only book I write, but we’ll all have to stay tuned to see.

Finally, I have to bring up a song I keep hearing. It’s called Younger You by Miley Cyrus. There’s a stanza to the song that I love:

Hey you, it’s younger you

I know your story isn’t done (literally, ha!)

But do you love who you’ve become?

Aww, that takes me back to the little kid who really only wanted to be a writer when she grew up. I hope you’re still in touch with your own younger you, and I hope you’re staying true to them. I think that person we want to become as a kid is so much more in touch with your authentic self than the person who gets shaped by society and Lord knows who else, we grow into.

A Sneak Peek

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My blog entries always come to me exactly when they should, so I can publish my post every Wednesday. I’ve been searching my brain for the one thing I’ve been thinking about most, because that’s generally my blog topic. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Not having a topic is terribly uncommon for me. I’ve always got something I’m mulling over and expressing it in my blog is a great way for me to move beyond it, and also get other people’s opinions on it.

But, since the beginning of this month, I’ve been doing a writing challenge, as I’ve mentioned before. For 21 days (and yes, I will be writing again later tonight, so it will be 22 days shortly), I’ve added to my novel without fail. That is what I’ve been thinking about most.

Because I’ve been writing so regularly, I’ve come to think of my characters as real people, much like I do when I’m deeply involved in reading a book. Situations float into my head throughout the day and I begin mulling over how each character would deal with something like whatever I’m thinking about.

With no other pressing topics this week, the only thing I can do is to give you a sneak peek into my novel, tentatively titled Wrecked.

Here goes…

One hundred and eighteen years ago, there was an event unlike any other on a stretch of railroad between Clinton and Gordon, Nebraska, during the month of June. A thunderstorm, so heavy and unforgiving, swept through the area for a solid 45 minutes, with dangerous lightning, hail, and pelting rain.

A freight train traveling that same night from Deadwood, South Dakota, to Chadron, Nebraska, and on to Clinton, making its way to Gordon and beyond, never made it to its destination. Just a few miles outside of Clinton, the culvert beneath the bridge hadn’t been big enough for the impact of the storm. There was so much water that it easily caused the bridge to wash away.

The locomotive had been steadily picking up speed as it rolled downhill, outside of Clinton. Suddenly, it slammed into dirt, rock, and a hillside that had never been there before. The train tracks were twisted and gnarled. There was water everywhere. The driver, Russell Alpin, tore through the cab window upon impact, leaving a couple severed fingers behind.

Jack Murray, a hobo who had snuck onto the train just as it was pulling out of the station in Chadron, woke up as his head hit the side of the car he’d been sleeping against. Sliding open one side of the train car, he could hear screams from men who were trapped inside various parts of the train, and upon jumping down, was in ice-cold water up to his chest.

Sludging to the front of the train, he’ll find Russell Alpin bobbing up and down in the water in shock.

Jack, a man who has nothing left to lose and has given up all hope, and Russell, who isn’t sure the world will ever make sense again after losing his wife and unborn baby, must find a way to help each other, even after being Wrecked.

My novel, Wrecked, will be coming out later this year, so stay tuned for more previews and updates.

High Five for You

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It’s too bad that the phrase self-care has become a buzzword or buzz phrase, because it means that at some point, we’ll get tired of saying it. But we need it. All of us.

Now that we don’t have kids in the house, it’s supposed to be easier to take care of ourselves, but it isn’t. There’s always some excuse. I NEED to do the dishes. I NEED to fold all these clothes. I NEED to check my social media accounts.

The truth is…you don’t.

If you’re an adult, living on your own, you get to decide what you NEED to do. You get to create your own reality.

Lately, I’ve been asking myself this question: What do you WANT to do? When I figure out what it is, I do it.

I joined another writing challenge, because I WANT to finish my book and sometimes it’s hard for me to justify that I should write when the house is full of stuff that NEEDS to be done. The group sent a spreadsheet to everyone taking part in it and every single day, you add the number of words you’ve typed.

I can NOT let a day go by without adding words to my daily total, so even if it means I’m the last one still awake, I’m typing.

What is it that you do, simply for yourself, and you protect that time or activity like nothing else? Do you make sure you get to read every day? Do you work out, do yoga, or walk daily? Do you have a certain amount of water you must drink? Do you make sure you eat both fruits and veggies every single day?

If nothing comes to mind, then I’m here to tell you that you need to rethink your life. Self-care shouldn’t be trendy; it should be a necessity.

Figuring out who you are authentically involves becoming your number one fan. Look in the mirror. Can you come up with at least five compliments?

You’re with yourself longer than you’re with any other single person. Liking who you are and making sure you have something to look forward to every single day should be a prerequisite for a happy life.

The Secret to a Better Life

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There was a time when I wanted to study the brain when I grew up. I had heard that we only use a small part of our brain and I thought it would be amazing to be able to figure out what we could do if we just unlocked those other dusty sections.  

Turns out it wasn’t true. According to MIT, we actually do use 100% of our brain, which is good news because I would’ve had to take tons more math classes to become a scientist and that just wasn’t for me.

But while we may use 100% of our brain, we don’t always use it in the way we could.

A sentence from my Simple Abundance book: “The greatest secret to living a happy and fulfilled life is the realization that everything is created in our minds before it manifests itself in the outer world.”

I’ve often heard that our subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. That’s why you can imagine yourself hitting the golf ball straight down the fairway and your brain thinks you’ve actually done it. You can essentially “practice” a sport just by thinking about it, and it’s been proven that doing that is just as powerful as the real thing.

I recently found an article on Medium titled “Everything is Created Twice: First in The Mind Then in The Reality.” The author suggests that we look around and realize that everything in the room you’re in was once first imagined in someone’s mind - the tv, the phone, the couch, the bookcase, etc.

They give the example that if you wake up in the morning thinking it’s going to be a terrible day, you will definitely have some awful experiences that will support that thought. But, if you wake up in the morning thinking you can’t wait to see all the good things that are going to happen, you’ll end up with several great experiences that prove you were right.

“You created your reality based on how you perceived things, and that all started in your mind.”

Change is good

The crazy thing about this is that by focusing on the positive, your brain literally begins to change. You create new neural pathways so that you are more positive in the future, thus bringing you more positive experiences.

Here’s a personal example. I used to think that the idea of writing and publishing a book was crazy. It could never happen. But I started imagining what that looked like in smaller chunks (a great idea with any big project).

I could see the beginning of the story and I wrote it down. From there, I took the three main characters (because three is always a magic number in literature) and thought about what their life was like and how their stories were all interconnected. I wrote that down. After realizing I had enough ideas for an entire book, I started making sure I was writing and exploring those ideas every day.  

Now I’ve begun to think about what the book launch party is going to be like. You’re all invited, by the way.

If you’re not happy with the way your life is going, all you have to do is rethink it. Start with your dream, no matter how big it may seem. If the dream is to own a restaurant, move to Italy, or become a doctor, what is one small project you could do today to move you closer to making that dream a reality?

You’ll notice that once you’re open to ideas, the knowledge you need magically appears. And if you’ve forgotten what that dream you had was, it’s time to get quiet and go within, because all the answers are somewhere inside.

Plank to Win

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Despite my love of April Fool’s Day (yes, I’ve made chocolate-covered cotton balls for students and delighted in their expressions as they bit into them), this is not an April Fool’s joke, just another weekly blog post.

Today’s entry in my Simple Abundance book began with a quote, “Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should become?” It’s attributed to Danielle LaPorte, a Canadian best-selling author, entrepreneur, and blogger.  

Each time I read it, I fight back tears. I can feel the sadness behind those words. I can remember the dreams I had that I shoved aside because of someone else’s insistence.

It took me years before I decided I didn’t care what people thought anymore. I was finally ready to do what I wanted to do.

“You can’t leave your steady job for the unknown!”

“Go ahead, write a book, but just know that NOBODY’S first novel becomes a best seller. It takes years and years of writing books to get on the best-selling charts.”

“You can’t give up your insurance!”

Those were all real statements I heard from people close to me when I finally got the courage to leave my teaching job of 17 years.

Mind you, I do not regret spending time in a classroom with high school kids. Every job you accept should be a learning or an earning opportunity, and those kids taught me something new every single day.

I do regret letting some adults walk over me and making me feel small.

​Back to those early years

The funny thing is, when I was young, I was going to be an author when I grew up. They say that around age 9, you lose your confidence in yourself and you start to listen to what other people say about you. So sad.

If I had stuck to my guns, I’d have already written numerous books.

Think back. What did you want to be when you grew up? What if you could still be that today?

It’s so easy to become comfortable in what our daily routine looks like. We begin to think it’s impossible to change paths because, well, we’d disrupt other people in our lives. Change is scary! And Heaven forbid, we might not be successful trying something besides whatever we’re doing right now.

But there’s a voice inside of you, reminding you that it’s not too late to be what you might have been.

A personal challenge

Every spring for the past several years, my husband and I begin a planking challenge. We sprawl out on the floor with our forearms bent at 90 degree angles, set our phone timers, and see how long we can plank before we collapse to the floor.

We’ve always heard that holding a plank position for more than two minutes doesn’t offer many benefits, so that’s always the goal.  Alexi McKinley, a woman on TikTok, does a two-minute plank every day and believes that “a two-minute plank a day keeps the limiting beliefs away.”

I’ve started following her and watching her do the two-minute plank and she’s become a motivator for me. “You’re doing that plank, and you’re starting to think you may not make it, but you talk yourself into doing the hard thing.”

I love the idea that if I can do a two minute plank, I can do anything. So can you. Whatever that voice in your head is telling you - not the one reminding you to put milk on the grocery list - you should start listening to.

Maybe planking isn’t your thing, but it’s definitely mine. I’ve done three two-minute planks in the last three days and I’m writing a book that I’ll publish later this year. Get rid of those limiting beliefs and go out and be whoever it is you started out to become.

Are You Prepared?

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I’m going way off topic today to talk about something that keeps circling in my mind. Allow me to sidetrack from pushing you to be your most authentic self for a moment and talk about a few other things I believe are important to consider.

This blog originates in western Nebraska. Within the last several months, we’ve had higher than normal temperatures and way above average wind speeds. The landscape here is mostly flat grassland.

We recently had a wildfire that affected five different counties and burned around 640,000 acres.

Farmers and ranchers in the path of that fire have had to evacuate homes, horses, cattle, and their livelihoods.

At one point, there was a chance that the fire might jump a highway. That would’ve brought it a whole lot closer to my location.

Anyone who’s read at least a few of my blog posts knows that I religiously read a book called Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I’m currently reading the book again for the third or fourth time and every time it means something different to me.

The book has an entry for every day of the year and the last day of each month suggests something else you should be putting away inside a Caution Closet.

I’m not a Doomsday prepper and so until this year, I would simply skim over these end-of-the-month entries. I can be a slow learner, but I’m starting to take notice.

With the recently contained fire and a monthly reminder that I should be creating a Caution Closet, I’ve started to consider a few things.

Such as…

If my family has to evacuate their homes within a short amount of time, what do we grab to take with us? There’s no way I’ll be able to carry all of our photo albums, my dogs, cats, and some clothing.  

If cell phones are out of service (for whatever reason), how do I get in touch with family members?

For that matter, how do I find the numbers of my loved ones since we haven’t had to memorize phone numbers since I was in middle school? (And for some of you - ever.)

And the worst one, if we’re all told to evacuate and our cell phones aren’t working, where do we meet?

This is the stuff of nightmares! I hope I’m never in any of these situations, but some Nebraskans have been. I’m assuming their phones were still working when they had to abandon their homes, but thinking of all the priceless sentimental items they had to leave behind is scary enough.

The one thing I have going for me is a purchase I made not long ago of a fire-resistant briefcase. Our most important papers are inside and it’s not too big that it would be a problem to grab and run.

The other thing we all have working in our favor is that so many of our photos and important documents can be stored in the Cloud. As long as we know how to get to them, they’re safe.

​Things to do today

For peace of mind, I plan to print and also have a Google document list of phone numbers of those people closest to me. It embarasses me that I don’t actually know many by heart, but that’s a downside of technology, we get lazy.

The other item I’m taking care of right now is one suggested by Sarah’s book. Our phones can keep our medical information available on the home screen when you update the setting, “show when locked.” There’s also a spot to set up in case of emergency, where your phone automatically calls those closest to you, in the event of an accident.

None of these scenarios is one we want to think about. I’m sure those families who lost their homes and their livestock weren’t planning on that fire reaching them that day either.

Sometimes on the journey to finding ourselves, we have to take a minute to take care of each other, too.  

Still Learning

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I’ve officially been writing a weekly blog for over a year.

Holy crap! I can’t believe that something I’ve tried so many times in the past, finally found a way to stick.

The difference? The difference is that during this past year, I’ve been learning how to believe in myself. After all, you’re with yourself longer than you’re with any other single person on this planet.

I’m learning. I’m figuring out that there are things I do, and say, and write, that I’m incredibly proud of. I’m working on being honest with myself.

Listening to your heart seems like it should be something we learn in kindergarten, but it’s taken me my whole life to realize that there is a knowing, an understanding, and a compass inside of me.

I don’t need to ask advice from others; I just need to know how to pay attention to the answers I’ve already got inside.  

But another thing I’ve been learning is that I love being around my people. So while I may not need advice to know the direction my life should take, I do need friendship and laughter and encouragement and love.

​The hardest thing to learn…

Another thing this past year has shown me is the importance of trust. It’s the hardest thing to let go of the illusion that we have control of our lives, and trust that every single thing is working in our favor.

Trusting is something I’m still working on, even though I KNOW with everything in me, that all will be okay. Letting go and free-falling is scary. But I have no doubt the net is there. It’s been there so many times.

But more importantly

I’d like to thank you. Many of you were put on my email list because I decided you should be there. But you’ve stayed. And you’ve brought friends. To all of you who listen, watch, or read my blog, I’m grateful for you. You give me a reason to keep expressing myself and to continue building this fantastic, supportive community.

Those of you who have expressed that I made you think, you agreed or disagreed with me, or that you simply want to see what I’m going to do next, thank you. Every comment, whether in public or private, means more than I’ll ever be able to express.

​

I’m going to keep writing, blogging, and working on becoming a better writer and better person every day. I hope you, too, are on your own authentic journey and that you are discovering crazy good things about yourself and it’s easy to smile at the reflection looking back at you. When you continue looking for the magic, that’s exactly what you’ll find.

Listening

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The past few weeks, I’ve felt like I’ve been ignoring a message meant explicitly for me. A handful of times, I’ve been nudged toward meditation, but haven’t done anything about it except notice.

Finally, I decided I better do something about it, or risk missing whatever I was supposed to learn or experience.

Today’s blog entry is a recap of my first five days of meditation.  

1st Day​

Day 1: I began with a Google search for beginning meditation YouTube videos. I found a 10-Minute Meditation for Beginners by Goodful and found a quiet place in my home to begin. The soft male voice encouraged me that meditation is good for helping you think before reacting, something I could’ve used long ago. I got a couple minutes in, sitting in a relaxed position, eyes closed, breathing in deeply, when an ad interrupted - “Watch what happens when eating blueberries every day causes five pounds of poop to get stuck-”. I clicked out of the ad and right back to my “relaxed” breathing, but was definitely contemplating how many blueberries I’d eaten lately vs trips to the bathroom.

I did feel better afterwards than I had at the beginning and I was able to focus on what the video was saying, rather than letting my thoughts go in a thousand different directions. I’ll keep trying it.

2nd Day​

Day 2: My Google search resulted in 10 Minute Relaxing Guided Meditation for Beginners by The Body Coach. I sat in the same place and as soon as it started, I was told to simply notice any aching or tension in the body. Found it! Next, we started breathing in through the nose and out through the nose. She instructed me to inhale, 1, exhale, and on the next inhale, continue on with 2, and then exhale. I was to keep going like that as long as my mind didn’t wander. Every time my mind wandered to something other than my breath, I had to start over again at 1. My breathing pattern looked like this: inhale, 1, exhale. Thinking about what else I have to do today. Inhale, 1, exhale. Thinking about some software I need to find the price of. Inhale, 1, exhale. Inhale, 2, exhale. Thinking about where we would take the dogs for their walk today. Inhale, 1, exhale.

By the time we wrapped up, I had only made it to 3, with a ton of 1s. The coach mentioned, as I opened my eyes, that focusing on the breath gets easier with time. She said some days she goes up to 15, and other times, she only makes it to 3.

I walked away feeling good about it, but realizing that I have little control over my thoughts.

3rd Day​

Day 3: Today I chose 5-Minute Meditation You Can Do Anywhere by Mindful. I almost forgot to meditate, but fit it in right before bed. The one thing I loved was that it said, “to think about something that made you smile, made you thankful or appreciative.” I discovered a report today that I could feed my almost-half written book into. With the amount of positivity and encouragement the report gave me, it made me feel like I’m following the authentic path laid out for me.

The video also told me “to thank my body for taking such good care of me. And thinking about what I could do for others that would continue bringing me joy.” This also made me smile because I’m secretly creating something special for a weekend away with my friends. More about this later.

Today’s video made me realize that short meditations are just as good as the longer ones.

4th Day​

Day 4: I was excited to find a Yoga by Adriene meditation. Adriene’s my gal for all things yoga related and I’m finding that the more meditation I do, the more it reminds me of her yoga sessions. With her as my yoga coach, the focus is always on the breath and it’s hard to think of all the things you need to do when you’re concentrating on how many counts your inhale is. The title of her video is 7-Minute Meditation to Start Your Day.

This was a bit different because even though I was in a comfortable seated position with my eyes closed, as I was inhaling and exhaling, she was directing me to bow my head and then look up to the ceiling. Then I was moving my head to the left and the right, so she managed to get a couple yoga moves in there, too.

I was just settling in when I felt a nose on my hand resting in my lap. My dog, Jill, needed some attention. She had been so quiet coming to find me that I was surprised by the nudge. From that moment on, it was hard to concentrate because if I stopped petting her, she put her paw on my arm, like, “Listen, Mom, I came all the way upstairs to find you, the least you can do is pay some attention to me.”

​5th Day

Day 5: the best day yet! Today’s meditation was titled 10-Minute Guided Meditation for Complete Beginners by Jess Yoga. What I really appreciated about this video was that she explained so much of the reasoning behind what I had been doing all week.

She said, “To make yourself more comfortable, sit on a pillow. It helps elevate the hips above the knees to create a straight spine.” She directed that I could place my hands gently in my lap with the palms up, “to receive,” or palms down, “for grounding.” I like this as on most days I feel the best with palms up. Now I know why.

She mentioned that “the goal of meditation isn’t to control your thoughts, but to stop letting your thoughts control you.” Ah! Someone finally told me the why behind meditation. She also said that she wanted me to just be a non-judgmental observer of the way my body felt and of the thoughts that came and went. Such a great idea to be less judgmental of ourselves.

I’m only five days in, but I already see the power of this. Honestly, anything that encourages you to sit quietly for a few minutes focusing on your breathing is something I can get behind. I’ll try to keep practicing it at least five days each week and report in again later. Even if it means I have to give up a few blueberries.  

Tooting Your Horn

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Today I’m going to talk about something that will make a lot of people uncomfortable. Sorry, but I'm starting to think the subject is a lot more important than I originally thought.

Recently, I’ve had a lot of deadlines - several more than I usually have. I have no one to blame but myself for overbooking my days. And it’s not the worst thing in the world because they’re all paid projects, it’s just that so many of them are supposed to be finished around the same time. Yikes!

I completed one of those projects last night, but it wasn’t until this morning that I took a moment to appreciate what I had accomplished. I originally planned to turn in the project tonight, but everything fell together yesterday so much easier than I thought it would, so I sent it out early without too much thought.

This morning I woke up feeling like I had done something amazing! And ya know what? I had!

When was the last time you allowed yourself to be proud of a job well done?

Every so often, I’ll be listening to a podcast and the topic of celebrating yourself will come up. Several people I follow have touted the value of rewarding yourself each time you reach a goal, big or small.

I have giant goals, so completing this particular project last night didn’t feel party-worthy. But today, I’m thinking that we should be celebrating all the things.

When it comes to others though

I hear myself congratulating others all the time. When they ask for a little bit more time to finish something I’m waiting on, it’s no problem.

I’m willing to offer grace to everyone else, except me. Every time I complete something, I move on to the next step without so much as a backward glance or a congratulations. That’s sad.

We should be taking the time to pat ourselves on the back more often. For some, it can be a major hurdle just to get out of bed in the morning. For others, it might be completing three things on your to-do list that day. No matter what it is you’re trying to achieve, I hope you take a moment to reward yourself every time you jump over that hurdle.

Today, when I got in my car, I danced to the music playing on my radio as I drove. Tonight, my reward will be reading a chapter in the book I’d like to curl up and read and ignore all my responsibilities. Not a huge reward, but it’s something special that I’ve been hoping to make time for. The giant reward will be coming through, and it’s just a few short months away. Stay tuned for more about that!  

Shift Your Thinking

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Yesterday I got in my van to finish a job I had started earlier in the day and of all things, I got a message that said ‘Service Shifter.’ What? I was in a hurry and confused and ready to get on my way, when I realized that the shift knob wouldn’t turn. The letters that were usually lit up above it - PRNDL - were dark.

What in the world? I shut the van off, thinking there was no reason to waste gas if I wasn’t going anywhere. I started to Google the message along with the make and model of my vehicle. After learning how to manually get it into neutral, I made a few calls to see if anyone I knew could help.

Nope, the two vehicle places I trust to work on my car had never heard of this particular problem before. I kinda chuckled to myself. This is interesting.

Apparently, I had been running through life and needed to take some time to look around.

Life has been especially busy lately. I know I’ve overbooked myself, but I’ve also been surprised at what I can accomplish when I just make the effort to start. It doesn’t matter what it is, the starting part is always the hardest. If you think about it long enough, you can talk yourself out of trying just about anything.

But when I actually put forth some effort, telling myself I’ll work on whatever it is for ten or fifteen minutes, I’m shocked at the progress I make.

​But back to the problem

So, back to the van issue. I was happy with myself that I took it all in stride. Things like this could easily have caused a meltdown a few years back. But instead, I looked at it differently. Since I was stuck in my car with nowhere to go, I prayed. I asked for help to get the van moving again. Pretty soon, my husband showed up and off we went, leaving the van for the night. I may have forgotten to pray about getting the van moving right then, at that moment.

Since some time has passed now, I’m looking at this differently. Was there something I was supposed to learn? Do I need to slow down, not trying to tackle so many things at once? Was it a push to write about it in my blog this week? Because honestly, before I write each blog, I pray asking God to guide my thoughts and my fingers as I type. Was this the message I was supposed to send out into the world?

Or, if we want to get really deep, was I saved from an accident because my car wouldn’t shift into Drive?

What sort of stretch would it take for you to bless your circumstances, including your problems?

Our life is far from perfect. We’re in a new season and maneuvering around situations we aren’t familiar or comfortable with. It’s not bad, it’s just different. It seems we’re leaning on each other a lot more lately, and that’s good.

But it’s always been hard for me to trust that I’m in exactly the spot I should be, right now. There’s always another hill I want to climb so that I achieve my next goal. Maybe I need to slow down and enjoy where I am.

Trusting and blessing your situation, no matter what it might be, is hard. In my mind, there’s a reason for everything and I’m not the one in charge, although I like to think I am. Perhaps I’m getting a lesson in patience or perseverance.

Whatever the reason for the vehicle issue, today, when we went back to see if anything had changed, everything was back to normal. Trust does not come easily. But being open to change and looking for the lesson has made a world of difference in my life.

Looking Forward to Looking Back

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I finished Matthew McConaughey’s book Greenlights. It’s full of great stories about a world I know nothing about - part of the fun of reading it!

I’m not going to spoil the book for you by telling you too much, but there were a couple of things he said at the end that I thought were especially powerful. And yes, you should definitely listen to him read the audiobook. He’s a great storyteller.

He asked when are you MOST yourself? This really made me stop and think. I had to pause the audio and drive in silence for a bit. He said it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re the happiest, but it means you are most yourself. “Your light is shining and you are who you are and no one else.”

McConaughey also mentioned that just because we are good at something doesn’t mean that is what we’re meant to do in this life. I was thankful to hear him say that because I think I was a pretty good teacher, but I never felt like teaching was what I was called to do. I was good at building relationships with my students, which I wouldn’t trade for anything, but I believe the kids learned because they trusted me, not because I was meant to be a teacher.

But back to Greenlights. A question he raises is this: can we live in a way where we look forward to looking back?

I think we all want to live without cringing about where or what we’ve been. But for some of us, it takes a few tries before we get it right. I’ve worked in many different jobs, but I’m not ashamed of that because looking back, I learned valuable lessons from each one that have guided me to where I am today.

But when am I most myself?

I think I’m most myself when I’m sharing stories and experiences with people. Doing something like this - writing a blog, because I have a need to share some things with the world. I don’t always know that it makes a difference to any great number of people, but it matters to me.

Because why not?

Along those same lines, I’m making up a story based on an event that happened near my home 118 years ago. This story will be published as my first historical fiction novel and I can tell you I’m MOST myself when I’m figuring out how each character would react in whatever situation I’ve thrown them into, and what comes next.

Again, I’m plunging myself into a world I know very little about, and I’m enjoying it every day. It’s not all going to be historically correct - some things will be twisted to fit my story - but in the end, my goal is to create a book that makes people want to keep reading. And because you’re here, I have an idea that it might appeal to you, so I’m going to keep you up-to-date on how it’s going.  

Being able to live in a way where we look forward to looking back means to me that we should keep on searching for the authentic path to feeling most like ourselves. When you’re running through life at one hundred miles an hour, it’s tough to see all the sights. We need to take the time to figure out what feels like us, gravitate toward those things, and do that every single chance we get.  

Greenlights

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I have to tell you about the audiobook I’m listening to. It’s called Greenlights and it’s written AND read by Matthew McConaughey. Yes, Magic Mike’s Matthew McConaughey. THAT Matthew McConaughey.

I started his audiobook almost a year ago and to be completely honest with you (sorry Matthew), I didn’t like the way he read the introductory material in such a sing-songy voice. So I quit listening.  

Recently, though, I ran out of audiobooks and that being the only one in my library I didn’t have to pay for and I hadn’t already listened to, I started it over.

This time, I wasn’t bothered as much by the way he read the introductory material. Then I got into some of his stories, and I actually rewound it so that my husband could listen too.

He’s a great storyteller and his world is so different from my own that it’s highly entertaining.

In one section, he talks about his first big movie. It was A Time to Kill, a book by John Grisham. He remembers that on the Friday the movie was coming out, he walked down the street to get a sandwich at his favorite shop. There were 400 other people on the street, and four of them noticed him - three girls who thought he was cute and one guy who liked his shoes. The other 396 didn’t pay any attention to him.

A Time to Kill came out that night and grossed millions at the box office. On Monday, he was headed again down the same street to get his favorite sandwich, and once again, there were about 400 people on the street. This time, 396 of them recognized him and four didn’t. Fame happened that quickly.

But the real point…

He goes on to talk about how right after that, he couldn’t tell what was real anymore. He felt like he was floating around aimlessly and he couldn’t find a way to get back to what he knew was his “truth.”

I don’t want to ruin the book for you, but he did a few different things to find his way back to himself. The things he says in the book about getting back to reality hit me in a big way.

He says (not exactly like this, but pretty close):

The truth found me. Why? Because I put myself in a place to be found. I put myself in a place to receive it. I believe the truth is all around us, all the time, but we don’t always see it. The anonymous angels, the answers. We don’t grasp it because we’re not in the right place to. We have to make a plan.

Next, he says this prayer:

God, when I come across the truth, give me the awareness to receive it, the consciousness to recognize it, the presence to personalize it, the patience to preserve it, and the courage to live it.

What does that sound like?

Wow! He’s talking about the authentic self. The truth is what you are meant to be in this world. Sometimes we don’t recognize it right away, but we’re also probably not looking for it.

He continues talking about how to find your truth. He suggests that we have to get free of the noise of this world, and says this will look different for every single person.

I’d offer that you could get free of the noise by putting down your phone and walking away. Or you could be free of the noise by praying to whomever it is you pray to. Or getting outside in nature. Or even by meditating - something that’s been tapping me on the shoulder a lot lately.

He says the truth will need no introduction. We must take that truth into the screaming arena that is our lives.

I used to teach my high school kids about the excerpt from president Theodore Roosevelt’s 1910 speech in which he talks about “The Man in the Arena,” except I always called it “The Woman in the Arena,” because I could identify with it and I wanted the girls to have a bit of a push to go be who they were called to be.

I encourage you to look up that part of the speech. A section of it says, “Who strives valiantly, who spends herself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at worst, if she fails, at least fails daring greatly so that her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

THAT’s how we should be living!

My wish and hope for you today and every day is that your life isn’t one of mediocrity, but one where you’re either failing or succeeding greatly. 

Much Appreciation

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Winter is my least favorite season. I know this will shock all of you ‘we love fall most of all, people’, but when that season hits, I start to feel homesick. It’s not that I’m actually away from home, but summer is MY time and the further I get from it, the sadder I become.

Not counting this winter, which has been amazingly mild, there are days, and sometimes weeks when we see very little sun. If we do see it, we certainly don’t feel it. But, like I said, this winter has been so much nicer than any I can remember.

However, recently we had a bit of a cold spell. The temperatures dropped and the sun disappeared. After a few days of this, my attitude sank. I know seasonal depression is a real thing, but I’ve never thought it was something that affected me. Now, I’m rethinking that.

The best way I’ve found to get beyond this Mother Nature-induced misery is to think about every little thing I’m grateful for.

​It goes like this

When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is let my dogs in and feed them breakfast. They greet me like it’s been months, even when it’s just been a few hours. Next up are the cats, even though one of them is clearly irritated that I disturbed her slumber, the male - Frank - is always happy to see me.

From there, I think about how lucky we are that we woke up to a warm house, lights that work, and a shower with warm running water. I thank the Lord that we live where we do - even with winter - because all our kids and almost all our grandkids are close by.

Spending time being grateful for everything from breakfast in my fridge to a car that runs, always makes me feel better, lighter.

I can also take my gratitude one step further and examine where I’m at in life. I have goals and dreams I haven’t reached yet, but then I think about how much closer I am than ever before.

This past week, I joined fellow writers in a Zoom call and we all talked about where we are in our writing journey. I was grateful to be able to respond that I’m published, my word count is growing in my novel, and I have a bit of a blogging audience - thanks to you! I was not as inexperienced as some in the room. Super grateful for that!

Gratitude tends to build upon itself and extends to every aspect of my life, once I start paying attention to it. I notice that the number of amazing people, things, and experiences keeps growing. The sign I see first thing in the morning that says ‘Ready for today’s magic’ becomes a reality.

We’ve had some sad situations in our family lately and it’s hard to not focus solely on those. But the flip side is that it’s bringing us all together, physically, for the first time in as long as I can remember.

(Side note: why does it take a funeral to get people to gather? Shouldn’t we be getting together during happy times?)

I think the bottom line is that being truly grateful is just one of the building blocks to living an authentic life. Things can change in a blink of an eye, without warning. I, for one, am going to continue being eternally grateful for this crazy life we get to live.

Edging Closer to Your Goals

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I used to be able to attend a weekly Zoom book club. I got involved because a lady I met on LinkedIn posted something about when the book club met and the title of the book they would be reading. I had been following that particular author’s podcasts, so I asked if I could join.

It was a great group of women and during those first three or four months, we really got to know each other well as we met and discussed what we loved, disagreed with, or what hit home for us in that week’s reading assignment. I had never been in a book club before and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to other points of view. I often walked away thinking differently about something because of the points made by one of the other five ladies.

The second and final book I was able to read with my book club was called The 12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington.

The overarching premise of the book is that a year is too much time to try to accomplish something. According to these two guys, you should be able to get it done in just 12 weeks.

These men have a solid argument. If you think about New Year’s Resolutions, for example, how often are they achieved? Most people have the best of intentions on January 1st, only to fizzle out quickly, and probably don’t even remember what it is they were going to do by May 15th.  

The author’s suggest that we need to shorten the time frame. Twelve weeks is three months, which seems long, but not when you follow their advice and create measurable goals. They offer free resources on their website (12weekyear.com), which include goal and planning worksheets and a way to grade yourself on how well you’re doing.

The point is?

What does any of this have to do with becoming more authentic? Everything.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve always had this thing in the back of your mind, that you felt you should be doing. For me it’s always been writing. But thinking about doing something is only the first step.

You have to imagine yourself doing whatever it is that you know you’ll love. After “seeing” yourself doing that thing, your brain starts to think that you’re actually doing it and the crazy idea starts to feel like something you already do. Not so crazy after all.  

For myself, I started by writing newspaper articles. Once that became a normal thing I do, I upped the ante. A book idea had formed in my head, so after picturing myself writing it, I began sitting down, creating strings of sentences which eventually formed chapters. That was awesome, except that I forgot all my 12 Week Year advice and just wrote whenever I wanted to.

However, within the last couple weeks, I found a group of writers who invited me to try writing sprints, joined them, and began writing regularly.

I thought again about the 12 Week Year planning sheets, and now I have a measurable goal, with an end date on paper. So exciting!!

Some background

For anyone wanting to work on measurable goals, the Pomodoro technique is amazing. Pomodoro is the Italian word for tomato. The creator of the Pomodoro used a tomato-shaped kitchen timer, timing himself working for 25 minutes, then taking a break, then working again for 25 minutes, non-stop. The guidance I’ve been given is that during the 5 to 10-minute break, you should move your body and stay off your phone.

My writing sprints consist of two 25-minute periods with about ten minutes of walking around my house, doing stretches, or petting my dogs, in between. My brain has gotten used to this method and now when I sit down to write, everything clicks into place and it’s easy to get lots of words on paper. Just as I’ve been told would happen, I’m able to get into the flow so much quicker than before.

In the past, I’ve gently nudged you to try whatever that idea in your head is. Now, I’m giving you practical methods to get busy on it. Before long, I’m hoping to hear that your path - and mine - to authenticity has become a real thing, whether it’s selling cupcakes out of a horse trailer or publishing an actual book. 

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What If?

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I have a sticky note on my computer that says, “What if it all works out?”

That one sentence packs a powerful punch.

To me, and of course, we all interpret things differently, that sentence infers that I’m struggling to MAKE it all work out. It also denotes a pessimism that I might be feeling about my life if the sticky note is saying, hey, instead of focusing on what could go wrong, what if you focused instead on what could go right?

What would happen if we all did that?

What if you’re in exactly the right place you’re supposed to be in today? Maybe you’re sitting in a job you’ve grown out of, thinking you’d rather be anywhere but there. But are you earning or learning? Because if you are, there’s some value to that position. You just have to decide if there’s ENOUGH value for you to stay.

Or, maybe you’re helping a friend today, and in your head, you’re wishing you were home because your to-do list is a mile long. What if there’s a lesson you’re supposed to learn that’s happening while you’re with your friend? If you leave, you miss the lesson.

My sticky note message implies that if we stop focusing on what we want to happen tomorrow or next week or next month, and actually be present in the life we’re living today, then we’re doing exactly what we’re supposed to be doing. It IS working out.

​Did you wish for this?

Think about your life today. Think about the house you live in, the car you drive, the job you do, and the family you have. Can you remember when those things were your prayers?

Maybe you lived with your parents and you couldn’t wait to get into a house of your own. Maybe you were given an old car on its last legs to drive. Maybe you had dreamt about a regular job with a steady paycheck. And maybe you had hoped you’d be able to build a family of your own someday and now you’re in it.

Each time we achieve something we pray for, another goal pops up. And that’s okay. It’s okay to keep reaching.

But we also have to take time to appreciate what we’ve accomplished so far in life, especially if you’ve had the courage to live a life true to yourself. That’s what it means to live authentically - being true and respectful to yourself.

When you decide to give up control and trust God, Spirit, or your higher power, you’re saying, I’m ready. Move me in the direction I’m supposed to go. I trust that something higher than myself is in charge and knows the direction I’m headed.

No one is here by accident. But success means something different to every single person. Someone in your town already looks at you and sees a successful person.

Maybe it really is working out.  

This week, if your neck is sore because your shoulders have constantly been up around your ears in tense anticipation, take a breather and know that the universe is truly working in your favor.