Are You Living Authenti-cally?

I can still see the image in my head. My friend and I were walking somewhere, and the wind was blowing. I had been coloring my hair at the time and wasn’t sure if she was. 

The wind chose that moment to blast us as I turned to her to answer something she said. I saw that the wind had picked up a section of her hair, and there was gray underneath. For whatever reason, that image is still a snapshot in my head. 

I didn’t color my hair again. Seeing the truth about her and knowing I was in the same boat, helped me realize that if I wasn’t staying on top of keeping my hair colored (and let’s be honest - it’s expensive, takes a long time, and you really need to do it often), the same thing would be happening to me. It felt fake, and I wasn’t okay with it.

I realize millions of women color their hair. Men, too. I stand behind every single one of them. You do you. I just couldn’t do it anymore. It wasn’t for me. 

Just Let it Go

Letting that one thing go started a movement for me. I started thinking about other things that just “weren’t me,” and letting those things fall by the wayside as well. 

I used to try so hard to get certain people to like me. I hadn’t yet encountered Mel Robbins’ theory on friendship that I wrote about earlier. I realized that it was time to stop trying so hard. Not everyone is going to like me, and that’s okay. There are people I don’t like either. It’s just life.

Today, I happened to see a TikTok where a woman was saying that if everyone likes you, you’re not trying hard enough to be who you really are. When you become that person, she went on, there are going to be people who don’t like you, but at that point you won’t care. 

I’m there. I think when you become who you authentically are supposed to be, you become okay with the fact that you are not everyone’s cup of tea. Not every single person has to support the ideas you get behind, the people you love and encourage, or the way you live your life.

It’s Not Just Me

Before writing this, I did a quick check on Google to see what authenticity is made up of and found an article. It’s titled Authenticity is Made Up of These Three Parts. Those parts are a low level of self-alienation, a high level of authentic living, and a low level of accepting outside influence. 

I think this psychologist is onto something. 

Self-alienation happens when you don’t know yourself. That can take some time figuring out who you are and what makes you happy. I know some people my age and even older who still don’t know the answer to that. 

He defines authentic living as “behaving in ways which are true to one’s core self in most situations.” In other words, those people who are doing their own thing and not caring if the rest of the world is upset about it or not.

A low level of accepting external influence means that you’re not driven by others’ expectations, but rather moving forward according to your own. You dance to your beat, follow your heart, and maybe even whistle a lot. Just kidding, that last part is just what I do.  

What difference does it make if you’re living authentically or not? I can tell you it makes all the difference. You should have a reason to get out of bed each day. You should have a goal you want to achieve. You should have a list of things you’d like to do before your time on this planet is over. 

They don’t have to be big, giant things. Maybe you want to make sure your mother is taken care of in her old age, or perhaps your dream is to become a parent, or possibly you have a goal of visiting another country one day. 

My wish is that you find a way to achieve everything on your list. But mostly, I simply hope you’re happy with the person you are, and without comparing yourself to anyone else, can look behind you and be proud of the person you are today.