The Actual Issue Might be You

If you’ve been reading my blog regularly, you’ve probably figured out that my goal is to help you live a more authentic life. But let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room, shall we? If you have a smartphone - and who doesn’t - you don’t actually have time to discover your authenticity.

I wrote ‘smartphone’, but what I really mean is any form of technology that you use on your own. It could be your tablet or iPad, your phone, a laptop, your smartwatch, or a desktop computer. Anything that takes you away from what’s going on around you and puts you into your own little technological world. 

I’m not above this. As a matter of fact, I currently have a war going on inside myself about this. I hear every one of my excuses. 

“It’s the way I relax.”

“I’ll just get on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, or TikTok for a minute.”   

“How am I going to know what’s going on if I don’t spend time on social media?”

I’m sure you have your own excuses, and maybe you even still believe them. 

Embarrassed to admit this

The sad truth is that the way my husband and I spend our evenings, each in our own little world with a screen in our hands as well as a larger, mostly ignored screen playing on the wall, has become the norm in each of our families. 

I tell myself that because I run over to him every now and then to share a video, that we’re spending quality time together. But we’re not. 

Your authentic self is screaming at you to pay attention to the voice inside your head, and you’re ignoring it with screens, among other things. 

In the book Simple Abundance, Sarah Ban Breathnach talks about the fact that we often don’t set aside any time, just for ourselves. If you have a job, a family to feed, clothes to wash, friends to entertain, a dishwasher to unload, or floors that need vacuuming, you most likely believe that all those things should come before you spend any time on yourself.

Becoming who you’re actually supposed to be gets pushed to the bottom of the pile and is never added to your ‘to-do’ list. 

Breathnach suggests that “perhaps we don’t hear the whispers of authentic longing because we don’t want to hear.” Yes, because listening might mean that we set our phone down and we pick up the paintbrush, pen, spatula, or any other item that leads to a creative activity.

What if?

She continues by asking what would happen if we were simply honest with ourselves? If we stopped the excuses and quit putting things off until the kids are back in school, we have more money, and our phones aren’t quite as interesting. 

She suggests learning to say to yourself, “I haven’t learned yet how to put myself on the list of priorities.” Note that she isn’t suggesting you put yourself first (Heaven forbid!), just get yourself on the list.  

I could go on and on, begging you to spend less time on your phone, and believe me, I have so much to say about this and what we’re doing to ourselves as a phone-addicted society, but I have to work on myself first. I have my own love/hate relationship with technology, and watching what we’re allowing to happen to our children scares me to death. 

But I need to work on myself first. I can’t very well give advice I’m not willing to take. 

I’m going to start with giving myself just a bit of time every single day to truly listen to what’s happening inside my head. I’m going to think about what brings me joy, what I’m proud of about myself, and all the experiences and people I’m grateful to have in my life.

I’m taking ten minutes each day to do this, and I hope you’ll join me. Together, we might discover amazing things and unearth just a bit more of our own authenticity.