Comparison Shopping
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Which of you reading this can admit to using social media to compare yourselves to others? I’ve often thought of how carefree the space in my brain would be if I weren’t using part of it to decipher all that I see on social media.
I know, you’re on social media to keep up with local events, right? Honestly, I don’t know how people who aren’t on it stay up-to-date with local soup & pie suppers, fundraisers, engagements, births, and weddings. It seems like every business and church I know has its own Facebook page, and depending on the age of my friends, they’re either also on Facebook, Instagram, and/or TikTok.
In the midst of all that social media usage (searching for news, I’m sure), we also get to see the beautiful side of our friends and often frienemies. I mean, why wouldn’t you ask everyone you know to be your friend so that you can keep up with absolutely everything they have going on?
There are those people, and you know who they are, that send you friend requests specifically because they want the inside scoop on your life.
Let’s get real
But sometimes, that person doing the snooping is us. We can also get so caught up in what so-and-so is doing, or accomplishing, or must be earning to be able to vacation as often as they do, that we don’t recognize the emotion for what it actually is - envy.
Yes, I’m talking about adults. I don’t think jealousy is an emotion we grow out of.
But, after reading a passage in my Simple Abundance book, I think we can recognize it, admit it (at least to ourselves), and learn from it.
The quote from my book is from Glennon Doyle, an American author, activist, and philanthropist. She says, “We’re only envious of those already doing what we were made to do. Envy is a giant, flashing arrow pointing us towards our destiny.”
Sometimes envy comes in the form of comparison. This is often a game where we end up on the losing end.
I’ll admit it
In the past year, I’ve read several books by an author I think is amazing. I’ve found her on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, where she talks about the books she’s published and the ones she’s currently working on. I signed up for her newsletter.
I’m jealous of the life she presents on social media. I want to be the one with that many published books.
Through her newsletter, I learned that she runs a new author boot camp and decided I might sign up after asking her a couple questions in an email. To my surprise, she emailed me back! Then, after I mentioned a blog post I had written, she COMMENTED on my blog!! I was blown away.
Now, as a member of her boot camp group, we meet on Zoom calls once a week. Sometimes she’s on the calls looking professional and polished, but mostly she shows up just as she is - post workout, post dog walk, whatever, much like me and the other members of the camp.
Not only is she handing out great advice, she’s open to calls and emails from all of us. She’s nothing like I pictured from her social media accounts. She’s actually pretty amazing, and I’m excited to be learning the craft of writing and publishing books from her.
That passage from my Simple Abundance book wraps up with this:
The next time you’re tempted to compare your life to another’s, pause for a moment. Remind yourself, over and over, that there is no competition on the spiritual plane. The blessings your nemesis has received also can be yours as soon as you are really ready to receive with an open heart all the good fortune created just for you.
And when will that be? As soon as you can bless the person you secretly curse; as soon as you can give thanks for their happiness and success as much as your own because it demonstrates the abundance of real life.
Excellent food for thought.