A Reflection

*You can watch or listen to this post here.

I wrote last week about feeling like I’m constantly running, and I’ve had time to reflect upon that. The things that have been keeping me busy are 70% things I feel like I should do, 20% things I need to do to feel sane, and 10% things I want to do.

​The things I feel like I should do include projects that bring in money, keep my husband and I alive and fit for society, like cooking and showering, and showing up for different things I’m involved in.

​The things I need to do to feel sane include vacuuming my house, putting things away in the right places, and spending quality time with my husband, family, and pets.

​But the number that is lowest is the things I want to do. I want to read the eight books I’ve started. I want to watch the five series that my husband and I have begun. I want to schedule more time to hang out with my friends. And I want to find more time to pursue some writing projects that I feel have future promise.

​Notice that in all of that time, there’s never a place for spending time on my phone, and yet I do.

​It’s interesting to me that when I have ten minutes before I have to get ready or rush off to someplace, instead of grabbing a book sitting right next to me, I reach for my phone.

​Creating a business from scratch means I need to spend some time on social media, promoting the things I’m involved with. But the catch is that I’m a blogger who writes about living a more authentic life, and spending time on my phone seems to be in opposition to living authentically. It’s those moments when I’m by myself, truly listening to my own thoughts, or those thoughts that are spiritually sent to me as guidance, when I feel I gain direction toward my authentic self.

Say what?

​Think of it this way - when you’re on your phone, you’re in the middle of lots of different voices. If you’re spending time on social media, you might be busy watching short videos that have been known to decrease your attention span. We need attention spans to be able to grow and follow our authentic voices.

​Or you’re checking out what your friends are involved in, whether that’s high school sports, or babies taking their first steps, or people running their own businesses. But you’re at arm’s length, literally.

More to think about

​Some of the conversations I’ve been included in this week also have me thinking about my phone. One friend told me she’s on a social media detox, so she’s rarely on any apps right now. Sounds heavenly! Another conversation had us all wondering if maybe the reason we don’t see more people applying for the numerous jobs available is because of the dependency we all have on our phones. A final conversation revolved around the fact that you just don’t find young people in churches anymore.

​Could it be that some of the conveniences we use every day have been created as a way of distancing ourselves from other people? We use debit cards to pay, so there’s rarely a reason for someone to count back our change. ATMs? Fast food ordering kiosks? Self check-outs? Have our phones, which are supposed to keep us up-to-date and in the know, created a world where we’re more comfortable not interacting face-to-face?

​I guarantee most young people prefer the safety of hiding behind a screen. As the older generations become more comfortable with all the things we do that keep us at an arm’s length, how many opportunities for connection are we losing?  

​Obviously, I’m still on my phone plenty. But I often wonder if we wouldn’t be better off without these little devices demanding our attention.

​It seems fitting to end this with a quote from the book The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. Marcus Aurelius, the last of the Five Good Emperors of Rome, in the second century CE, wrote this advice to himself, and I would argue it’s still valid today:

​Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people - unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.

​Easier said than done, right?