5 Reasons You Need to Plan a Girls’ Weekend Today

I’m currently listening to the audiobook Let Them by Mel Robbins. Somehow, I always find Mel right when I need her. Because of her, I high-five myself when I look in a mirror. She taught me that you have to be your biggest fan, and it’s true. She also taught me I can do hard things like get out of bed when I don’t want to, simply by counting down from 5. By the time I reach 1, I’m up and out of bed (most of the time). 

I’m not very far into her latest book, but I’ve already been hit with something so powerful. She says, “Time with your loved ones is like a melting ice cube.” Oh, my heart - OUCH. 

Of course, it makes me think about my family - my parents, husband, kids, and grandkids. But it also makes me think about my girls, those ladies who are there for every major event in my life. 

My friends and I have been going on a girl’s weekend since 2010. As far as I can tell, we’ve only missed one year - shocking that it was 2020, right? - and I just got back from that weekend with them. When we were first talking about it, we decided to call it WOW, but never actually clarified if it was Women Only Weekend, Women on Whiskey, Women on Wine, or some similar combination. If you’re not going away with your best friends already, I’m here to convince you it’s time to do it. 

1. When was the last time you went away with just the girls? Staying up late, eating food you wouldn’t normally eat, drinking too much, laughing until you almost wet your pants (or maybe you do because you know, you’re at a certain age), and knowing it’s okay because you’re with people who love you no matter what and there’s no judgment. However, they don’t forget either, so keep that in mind. 

2. The Planning! I often wonder if the planning isn’t just as good as the weekend itself. We always start multiple text strings. We share thoughts, food ideas, Instagram Reels, and emojis for weeks before the actual trip takes place. Eventually, we get down to the nitty-gritty of who is picking up whom and what time we’ll all be meeting at the house we’ve rented for the weekend. 

3. Staying in a beautiful house that’s not your own is part of the fun. We used to stay in the same place each time we traveled to Deadwood, SD, for our weekend. It was called, appropriately enough, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid Suites. We always stayed in the biggest one - the Butch Cassidy. Back then, we were so excited to find a large Coke cooler to keep all our food in, swinging saloon doors that housed one of the bedrooms, and exposed brick walls. It was two blocks from the main street with all the casinos, and every one of us knew the key would be under the mat if anyone was last to straggle in. 

   Now, we find a beautiful VRBO home located several miles outside of town. Our tastes have changed. This past weekend we were happy to find a stainless steel fridge, hot tub, and open floor plan so we could carry on conversations while grabbing something in the kitchen and moving back to the living room area. We were also delighted to find that one of the large photos hung in an alcove was of Robert Redford and Paul Newman as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. 

   But also saddened when on a stroll by our old place this year, we found it gutted.  

4. The deep conversations keep us coming back. Our lady’s weekend has been a chance to divulge new careers, blooming - and ending - relationships, check in on kids and grandkids, and compare health concerns, among tons of other topics. We stay up talking late into the night after several drinks, and we’re up early so we don’t miss any of the hanging around in our jammies talking some more. Our conversations eventually lead us to the hot tub and, finally, out the door to try our hand at gambling in town. Those conversations have cemented old and brand-new friendships, and it’s the heart of why we wouldn’t miss our weekend for the world. 

5. Time is precious, even when you don’t notice. Much like Mel’s melting ice cube theory, every one of us values our time together, especially now that we’ve realized we’ll never know when we’ve been on our last girl’s weekend. In 2019, our weekend took place in March. In early December of that year, one of our own had gone missing as she had passed away unexpectedly. Last year, our trip was again in March. One of the ladies didn’t feel the greatest, but she came along anyway. Seven short months later, she succumbed to cancer. This year, we set our table with memories of our two friends who we knew were with us in spirit and toasted to them. 

Looking back through the photos of weekends with my girls, I count at least 12 ladies who have joined us over the years. There’s never been a time when every single lady could go, and we always welcome new people joining us. But I believe I can speak for all of us when I say that we’ve never regretted our weekend together. There’s never been a fight or a blow-up, just great times. So much so that when we were all attending the funeral of one of our friends, the woman next to me whispered, “Kind of makes you never want to miss another WOW, doesn’t it?” I couldn’t agree more. 

Going off the rails

Following your own authentic journey is hard.

In the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers, she suggests that we have two voices in our heads - the chatterbox and our authentic voice. The chatterbox rarely shuts up and it takes some time before you’re able to stop her incessant nagging and overthinking so that you can listen to the authentic voice that will guide you toward where you really are supposed to go. 

When you decide to turn your life upside down, doing something completely new and different, yet you know without a doubt it’s what you’re supposed to be doing, people react in unexpected ways, both good and bad. 

To Share or Not to Share

I remember telling my closest friends that I was going to resign from teaching and pursue becoming a writer, and really being excited to break it to them before so many others. The reaction wasn’t what I had hoped for. Or perhaps it mostly was, but I ended up focusing only on the negative. (Why is that always the focus??) One of the comments I can’t unhear was, “Ohhhhhh. I could never do that!” While it seemed not to be about me, it kinda was. It felt like I was doing something ridiculous, and it stuck with me. 

Some family members weren’t any better. I had a couple who could not believe I was leaving my stable, salaried job, complete with paid insurance, to tackle the unknown. One person even went so far as to text in a group chat, “Are you working full time yet, Heidi?” I had to lay my phone down and walk outside before I said all the ugly responses that popped into my head. 

Because really, when I finally decided to follow my dream of being a writer, I was working lots more than full time. I was cold emailing possible clients, building my website, making connections and networking on LinkedIn, creating spreadsheets of the people I was emailing and networking with so I knew when to contact them again, building social media accounts for my business, pitching article ideas, researching article ideas, conducting interviews and writing. I was working way more than overtime, but of course, the comment was meant to hurt me and translated to, “Are you making money like you’re working full time yet, Heidi?”  

Is it Me or Is it You?

After a few of these comments, I realized that the negative reactions were more about the person delivering them than they were about me. Not that they still didn’t sting like hell. I was doing something rebels do, going off the rails, living by my own lights, and that’s something a lot of people don’t understand. You’re supposed to find a decent job, live modestly, and not rock the boat, right? 

Choosing to walk away from my teaching job meant I was following my own path. It’s a path uniquely created by me, and if too many people stop and think about it too long, might there be more that attempt to follow their dream? 

I’ve always loved the question: if money weren’t an issue, what would you be doing? Would you still be in the job you’re in, or would you be following your heart’s desire? And if you happen to be able to say, you’d still be doing the same thing…lucky you for already being where you love and knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. 

The Best was Yet to Come

The best reactions came from my hubby. At first, he couldn't understand it. He told me, in a gentle and absolutely non-accusatory way, that he had been raised to go to work to provide for his family, and because of that, my resignation confused him. But he knew I wasn’t quitting because I didn’t want to work. It was just that it had become work that I couldn’t do anymore. 

Once I started having some success with getting articles published and he overheard people telling me they were impressed with my writing skills, he came to me, gathered me into a hug, looked straight into my eyes, and told me I was so much braver than he. He had kept the same job for forty-some years, not because he loved it and couldn’t wait to get to work each day, but because he felt like he was doing what he was supposed to - providing for his family. 

I’ve never received a better compliment and it makes me realize what a gift I’ve been given to be able to follow my dream and have his full and unending support.  

Beguin Bits Blog is Born!

I’ve always wanted to write a weekly blog, but it hasn’t seemed right until recently. My heart is now screaming at me that it’s time to tackle this. So here goes…

What you need to know about me is that I’ve been moving toward a more authentic life for the past few years and that’s what lies at the heart of this blog, my reason for sharing all that I plan to share. 

Who I Was

I was a high school English Language Arts teacher for 17 years until it stopped feeling right. 

During the last few of those years, I started listening to an inner voice I hadn’t noticed before. As I was helping guide seniors to their first ever life choices, I heard myself say, “You can be anything you want!” But I also began hearing that inner voice chiding me - “are you?”

Ever since I was in the 5th grade, I’ve wanted to be a writer. That was the year I wrote a play about Strawberry Shortcake and the Smurfs. I convinced my teacher to let my friends and I act it out for our class. I don’t know if everybody, including the teacher, was just ready for a break from school or what, but it seemed to be a big hit.  

During the spring of 2023, that inner voice started beckoning so loudly that when my superintendent stopped in one day to see if I was planning to come back the next year, I could barely concentrate on what he was saying as that voice was screaming, “NOW! Tell him NOW that you don’t plan to come back, not next year or EVER!” I clapped my hand over that voice’s mouth and told him I needed some time to think about it. 

The one thing I truly loved about being a high school teacher was the energy the kids brought every single day. It wasn’t that they were the problem, it was that I had never allowed myself to explore what I knew deep down I was meant to do. I had taken my first job as a teacher because I thought I would enjoy it, but better yet, it would put me on the same schedule as my young children. I was up for the adventure of it. 

What I Learned

Being a teacher was amazing, and tiring, and fulfilling, and heart-wrenching, and brought me into relationships I never would’ve imagined I’d get to be a part of. I loved almost every single one of my students (truly, there are only a couple that I never could make myself like). It wasn’t their fault that school wasn’t where I wanted to be anymore. It just felt like I had outgrown the classroom and everything that had to do with school.  

It took a lot to summon up the courage to tell my superintendent that I would not be coming back. I really had no plan, except a need to write.

Before I Forget

I might add to this introduction that I live a crazy blessed life with my hubby, who was more or less blind-sided by my insistence that it was time for me to try something new. I thought I had saved enough money to carry me through for a bit (I didn’t). I thought I would maybe be broke for just a couple months (try well over a year). My husband has graciously (mostly) taken on so much of our financial burden and I plan to switch roles with him as soon as possible. 

We have a great house that we have lovingly remodeled a lot of and two vehicles that are paid for (thank the Lord). We also share:

1 stepdad

1 adopted dad

1 stepmom

3 ex-spouses

9 stepsiblings

5 kids - 2 are mine and 3 are his, so we’ve also shared the good, bad, and sometimes ugly experience of being stepparents.  

This blog isn’t going to be a play-by-play of how we ended up with all those people in our lives. It’s not a blog about creating a blended family or being a part of one through our parents, but it certainly colors a lot of our life. My journey to being the most authentic person I can be has absolutely been affected by all those people. 

So jump on in and come along for the ride with me! I’m hoping this is the best adventure I’ve been on yet.