Tell Me Lies
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I once took advantage of a free session with a life coach I had been following on Instagram. We met on Zoom and we talked about the writing goals I had for my life, even though I was a teacher at the time.
I told her exactly what I wanted my life to look like and then she asked me why it didn’t already look that way. I told her I didn’t have time to write because my teaching job took up about 60 hours each week. She asked why. I told her because I cared about my students, so when I wasn’t teaching, I was meeting with students, checking papers, or planning future lessons. She asked why.
By this time, I was getting kind of irritated with her. I didn’t understand if we had a poor wifi connection, or if she just wasn’t listening. She kept asking why, and I kept coming up with answers, none of which satisfied her.
Eventually, after what felt like the 100 millionth why, I said because I made a choice to be a teacher. Aaahhhhhh, she said, what if you made a choice instead, to be a writer? What would the path from being a teacher to becoming a writer look like?
We talked through all of it and I started to see that the stories we tell ourselves are extremely important. As long as my brain knew I was a teacher, it wouldn’t accept that I was also a writer. But it did like the idea of a teacher figuring out how to be a writer.
Tell me sweet little lies
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the stories, or, let’s be honest - lies, we tell ourselves. Every single one of us does this. You may think you’re above it, but that’s just because your lies are so deeply ingrained that you believe all of them.
For instance, in the winter, I like to wear long-sleeved shirts when I’m at home. Short-sleeves are too chilly and sweatshirts or sweaters are too hot, so long sleeves are just right. This past week, I kept thinking to myself that I should order a couple long-sleeved shirts because I didn’t have enough to get through one week without having to wash clothes.
On Sunday, I was washing clothes and I noticed a long-sleeved shirt. And another. And then two more. I started counting both the ones that were dirty and the clean ones hanging in my closet. I discovered that I have SIXTEEN long-sleeved shirts! That’s way more than I need to get through one week, but I had convinced myself that I didn’t have enough.
We tell ourselves other stories, too - much more important life-changing stories.
You better sit down…
I’m going to come clean with you and tell you I’m writing a book. By the way, I wasn’t going to say anything until I was further along with it, but I think the accountability will be good for me, so feel free to ask me how it’s going from time to time.
I started the book and only got so far, probably around a couple thousand words, before I stopped writing. I decided I didn’t have enough time to devote to it. But then, I joined a New Author Boot Camp, and I was able to get my book to 10,000 words! I was excited!
For reference, the kind of book I’m writing needs to be around 80,000 words to be considered done.
But then the holidays hit, and I decided I was just too busy to write much again. I was still thinking that until this week, when I learned about writing sprints. The gist of the idea is that you write for 25 minutes without stopping or correcting, take a five to ten minute break, and then write for another 25 minutes.
For someone who doesn’t have any time to write, I was able to write 754 words during my first night and 1044 words the second night. I’ve been lying to myself and I’m really good at it!
I’m guessing you’re good at it too. What are some of the stories you tell yourself? You’ll follow your dreams once the kids leave the house? You’re probably not very good at x,y, or z, even though you get compliments about it all the time? Or you just don’t have enough time to follow your dreams right now.
Do me a favor, go to the settings on your phone and start keeping track of how much time you spend on the different apps you have. If you used even half of that time working on whatever would get you closer to your dreams, you’d be able to see progress. Seeing progress makes your brain want to see more progress, and on and on, until you can actually envision yourself becoming the person you’ve only dreamt about.
The crazy idea you’ve always wanted to believe in isn’t so far away. Start questioning the stories you’re telling yourself and give your brain the space it needs to create a path to a more authentic you.